There is no force like the force of a man with a million-dollar idea and when he rolls up in a shiny pickup truck and tells you that for five measly bucks, he can plunge your dog’s pancake face until it pops out like a regular dog face, you don’t stop to think. You pony up the cash.
We watched as the man taped my dog, Eric’s, eyes shut and then affixed the toilet plunger to his fat face.
Before the first plunge, my Grandma’s boyfriend asked the man about the kind of guarantee we had, in case it didn’t work.
But the man said that there wasn’t any because the bone structure of a dog is unpredictable.
“The manual labor is what you pay for.”
He plunged for the better part of the afternoon, stopping only once to eat lunch. In the end, Eric’s face remained as flat and smashed as it was when we started. The man apologized and recommended a few ointments before driving away.
“That’s one smart son of bitch,” said my grandma’s boyfriend. “Five bucks for just a few hours work. Man oh man.”
He stared at the truck growing smaller in the distance.
“What does that come to I wonder?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Well I bet it’s a lot. There’s probably a thousand dogs out there.”
We started to head back inside the house, but Eric smashed into the doorframe because his eyes were still taped shut.
THE END.
What could I possibly add.
